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The top 10 why a dog better is then a woman:
10. The parents of the dog will never visit.
9. A dog likes it when your clothes are wandering around.
8. A dog go's only to the bathroom to have a quick drink.
7. A dog does not expects you to call him.
6. A dog will not be angry, when you forget his birthday.
5. A dog gives nothing about the former dogs in your live.
4. A dog will not become angry if you chuch an other dog.
3. A dog doesn't expect flowers on valentines day.
2. How later you come home, how more pleased the dog is.
1. A dog doesn't shop !!!!!!
The top 10 why a dog better is then a man:
10. Dogs are very straight concerning going for a walk.
9. Dogs think that you are a first-class cook.
8.A dog cane be house-trained.
7. Dogs feel guilty when they did something wrong.
6.Dogs of middle age feel not the need to change you for a younger copy.
5. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
4.. Dogs don't care if you don't shave your legs.
3. A dog is just so obsessed by you as you by him.
2. A dog drinks only water.
1. A dog feels himself not deceit by you intelligence !!!!!!
The Dog dictionary:
Dogs leash: A leash who is connected with your neck-chain, and what the possibility gives to lead your master where you want him to be.
Dog basket: Each soft, pure area, like a white bedspread in the spare bedroom or the new couch in the living-room.
Slaver: This is what you do when people are eating and you are not. To do this right, you have to push yourself against them, look pitiful and let the slaver fall on to the floor, better is, on there lap.
Nose: The social habit if you meet a other dog. Keep your nose against the back of the other dog and take a deep breath, do this several times, till your master stops you.
Dustbin: The bin of the neighbours, which one they set outside one's a week to test your ingenuity. You are going to stand on your back legs and tries to open the cover with your nose. If you do it right, you will be rewarded with butter wrappers, cow bones and hard bread-crust.
Cycle: Two wheel exercise machines, invented for dogs to keep your fat grade at level. For the maximum aerobic-exercise, you hide in the grove, you jump when you appear, you start to bark very loud, and you will run a few meters with the cyclist, the cyclist will starts to swing and will drop in to the grove and you will walk pride away.
Deafness: This is a typical dog illness , who will appear when the master wants you to come towards him and you like to stay outside. Symptoms: glassy starring to the master and then start racing to the opposite direction, or lay flat.
Thunderstorm: This is the signal that the world ends. People are staying very calm during the thunderclaps, so it is necessary to warn them for the danger through unverifiable to tremble, to gasp, to roll your eyes wildly and to follow them where ever they go.
Waste-paper basket: This is a dog toy filed with paper and envelopes. If you are bored, throw the waste paper basket on the floor and spread all the papers through the whole house, until the master comes home.
Couch: Is for dogs the same as a napkin for people. After dinner it is civilized to jump all over the couch and to wipe your whisker against it.
Bath: This is the process by witch the people wet the floor, walls and themselves. You can help them with shaking out yourself.
Lean: Every good listing dogs respond to the command "sit", special when the master is dressed for a evening out. Very effective to black suits.
Jumping to: This is the best way to get attention from your master, special when your master takes a cup of coffee or tea.
Jumping on: The last way when 'jumping to' doesn't work, very effective when it's combined to nosing, as described above.
Love: Is the feeling of intense affection, totally free and without rules. The best way of showing this, is to wag your tail. If you are lucky, your master acknowledge it.
How to photograph your puppy?
1. Take a new roll out of the box and put it in your camera.
2.Take the film out of the mouth of your puppy and throw it into the dustbin.
3. Take the puppy out of the dustbin and wipe the dirt of his snout.
4. Look for a suitable background for the picture.
5.Assemble your camera and make it ready to record.
6. Find your puppy and take the dirty sock out of his mouth.
7. Place the puppy on the spot where you want him to be and walk towards the camera.
8. Let the spot out of your head and crawl after the puppy.
9. Set the camera and entice the puppy.
10. Wipe the wet-nose-print of the camera with a handkerchief.
11. Take the flash-cube out of the mouth of the puppy and throw it away (the flash-cube).
12. Put the cat in a different room and treat the puppy's nose.
13. Put the ash-tray and the magazines back on the table.
14. Try to draw a interesting look on the face of the puppy with a peep-animal in your hand, above your head.
15. Put your glasses back on your nose and take the camera in your hand.
16. Jump on the right moment, take the puppy by the scruff of the neck and say:" for shame, you have to do that outside!"
17. Call your partner to assist you by cleaning.
18. Mix a double Martini for your self.
19. Sit down in a comfortable chair and draw a plan for the next morning to learn your puppy "sit and stay".